Weblog
Monday, 09 June 2008
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I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!
Monday, 17 April 2006
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i'm getting sick and tired of this crap. too many friends and too many broken promises. i swear, what does it take for ONE good friend who ACTUALLY cares about you and won't lie to you??? How EFFIN hard is that kids?? I mean, SERIOUSLY! ugh!galkshjd;kajfhkdf askd damn!
Monday, 20 March 2006
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Abilene and romance
I'm from Abilene, one of the most Christian towns you'll ever find. ever. We are in the Guiness Book of World Records for the most churches per capita and we have one on almost every block it seems. There's really just the four main "religions" or denominations that you'll find in our town, not anything like the world outside it's borders - these would include Baptist, Methodist, Church of Christ and Catholic. You'll rarely find, if at all, any other kind of church (minus the "non-denominational" denomination) such as Muslim, Bahai, Tao, etc. though I have seen (and attended with a friend) a Jehovah's Witness church there. We all were expected to go to church and be Christian, whether we ever were or not was a different story, though with how much we attended services - i was shunned if i did not attend every sunday morning, sunday night and wednesday night - it was almost impossible to leave high school otherwise.Our top ten graduates were also the jocks and cheerleaders who attended church religiously as well. And I had only seen one or two openly homosexual people by the time I graduated. It was not until I came to college that I realized it was a whole different world outside Abilene's limits. People are mean and unkind, rude, selfish, worldly, provacative, "flamers", and so on. They drink and party and cuss and do drugs and so much more! Not to say Abilenian's were perfect, but we had to maintain at least that outside image. However, there is one thing that Abilene is also known for. When I was in middle school and high school, Abilene was one of the nation's top cities for teen pregnancy. My best friend in 7th grade and I were allowed to take the ACT test before we even took Algebra. She scored a cumulative 31 overall...highest possible score being 36. That same year she had sex for her first time at 13 and got pregnant. She had her baby when she was 14 and dropped out of school. She just finished high school last year. My church in middle school had so many pregnant girls there it was unreal. I remember at one particular time in our youth section of the10 girls, 5 of them were pregnant or already had a child. I experienced abortion at age 13 when another great friend of mine decided she didn't want her's, much to my next door neighbor's disapproval as he was the father. There were many children lost and gained. We never really knew how bad it was or how different it was from other cities around the nation. Our churches were too scared to talk to the youth about it in fear our parents would disapprove of hearing it's message spread to our "virgin ears", though many of us had committed some sort of sexual act before reaching 4th grade if not the full deal (go ahead and gasp. It really happened.). We didn't know the dangers and certainly didn't realize the implications and tolls it would have on our lives that early in our own, when we're supposed to still be playing with barbies and GI Joes and coloring My Little Pony books. But with sex and babies comes marriage. That's something that we as Abilenian's hold dear. We will try everything we can to keep that marriage strong and last until we die. It seems as if we're expected to be married by age 18 and have our family started by 20 and completed by 23. It keeps us in the city, though it's a black hole that we all know we'll be drug in to at one point or another again regardless of familiar status. I know I'll be going back at some point to live myself, even if I don't approve. It's a good city to raise a child in. Yes, we're a little sheltered, but deep down we like it. We come out "good" and "wholesome" with "manners" and "compassion". It's just that first year or two in the "real world" that kicks our butts into reality that are tough. After that, we retain our "goodness" and move ahead in reality with a clear head on our shoulders and a strong foundation. I say all of this to talk about marriage. Marriage is not a subject to be taken lightly. It will last forever and if you make the wrong decision...well, so sorry for your bad luck, because you'll stay with that person for the rest of your life if you learned anything in Abilene. Since we're expected to marry so early, I've found many of my Dear Ol' Abilene High school friends on this blasted thing who's status is either a. Married, b. In a Relationship (only because there's no "ENGAGED!!!!!" option) or c. In a Relationship (that has lasted since we were 10 and we just don't have the balls to actually tie the knot). Tonight for example, I found a girl that I went through middle and high school with. We always stood near each other in choir, and I loved to talk to her - such a Godly woman. I was overjoyed to find her page and read through her comments to find she too is engaged! There were soo many emotions swimming through me at that moment - happiness to find her again, joyful for her engagement to, what looks to be, one fine catch, and sadness that there is yet one more ahs '03 graduate that has found their "match" before me. I really thought I would be planning my own marriage by now, especially after my last love, but when that came crashing down a few months ago, I knew it would be much longer before I ever found THE ONE. I watch Sex and the City and think, which of these girls will I be when I'm 35 or even at my 10 year reunion. Where will I be, what will I be doing, who will I be with? Will I be the same person as now or completely different? These are questions we all ask ourselves at one point or another, but when do we ever stop and realize we can answer that same nagging question from years past right now, but is it what we had hoped for then? Eleanor and Darcy, I'm so happy you two have found the loves of your life. Here's to being happy and finding those who care deeply for you! Let me be the first to wish the same for any other who reads this...as well as it's writer. ♥ Tash -

Currently Listening
Border (La Linea)
By Lila Downs
see relatedstolen goods
Hey guys...so I went to Mexico from Sunday to Wednesday. I drove my car for the first time today and when I went to turn on my radio...realized my XM radio was gone... My next immediate thought was, "what in the hell?" followed shortly by..."what else is missing?". Turns out in total (that i've been able to notice), my xm, a pda and an entire box of fireworks were taken from my car. Things that were left behind: cds, radio, radar detector and satellite thing for the xm to work.
Odd things to note: When I left for Mexico, I grabbed my FM transmitter out of my car and double clicked my clicker for my alarm to turn it on. There was no forced entry and the car was re-locked when I went to it today for work. The XM was there when I left on Sunday as I thought, "I should take that with me...but I don't want to have to reconnect all the wires". There are three copies of my car key - two were taken with me on my trip and one was left at my apt in a secure place. I have NO IDEA how the person got into my car...but i've gotta give them props.
If they had only taken the pda and the fireworks...I may have never even noticed, but the xm? that's something I use everyday. I've been pretty upset all day, but it's not so much as to what was taken and how much it will cost to replace it; it's more of the fact that someone was in my stuff, snooping around and took whatever they so pleased. It didn't happen at a convenience store or walmart...this was at my gated apt complex and in front of my apt!!!!!!!! can we say scary??
Since there were specific things that were taken, two of which were hidden from view of a passerby of my vehicle, we (the police and i) have concluded that it is a friend that knows me well enough to know what's in my car. Good thing is, the police have already come out and I made them fingerprint the car to see who it was (there were many places that were easy to get a good print from such as the trunk). The results will be in tomorrow I believe...anyone care to fess up to it before I press charges on you tomorrow? I have no reason to hesitate to do so. It had to be a friend no doubt and someone who knew I was gone for so long.
The world makes no sense sometimes. It's not the goods of the world that matter, but the good in the world. Let's do some good out there people and make a difference, this does not include stealing ppls stuff and lock their doors back so no one else will steal the rest!
speaking of, I'm doing Race for the Cure and am collecting donations, please let me know anything you can contribute for Cancer patients gone, present and past. My mom is one of them, what can you do to make a difference?
pics from mexico -
Mal, me and Shan - first night in Mexico!Shan's mom had some great furniture! This one is by Louis Vuitton!

Awesome suspension bridge in Monterrey, Mexico...Waco, you ain't got NUTHIN on this suspension bridge!
How ironic? Eating Japanese food on the Texas side of the US/Mexico border! -
gives you chills
a friend from work sent me this true story -
It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we
Didn't see some rain soon...we would lose everything. It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my
Six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort ... trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house.
Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him). He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site.
Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.
I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him.
His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...and more drops...and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.
Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. Those miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon... But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.
*~THAT'S GOD ~*
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD! He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to
Talk to?
THAT'S GOD! He wants you to speak to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?
THAT'S GOD! There's no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford.
THAT'S GOD. . He knows the desires of your heart. .
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it?
THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
DO YOU THINK THAT THIS CARD WAS ACCIDENTALLY SENT TO YOU?
NOPE!
Please pass this along and share the Power of God.
In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM Thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!
Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is.
Tell the storm how Big your GOD is!
HAVE A BLESSED DAY
GOD LOVES YOU
story found here
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